Published On:12 December 2012
Posted by Indian Muslim Observer

Extramarital Affair: A Shifted Mechanism of Social Degradation in Bangladesh

By Md. Abdullah Al Helal

Marriage is commonly understood as relatively enduring relationship between male and female as husband and wife. It is a bond by which a male and female gain the religious, social and legal recognition to live together. It creates mutual obligation between husband and wife. However, marriage is a universal system to regulate sex life. Procreation of children is the additional purpose. No religion permits to fulfill this biological need without being married. Otherwise it is adultery and this type of relationship is known as extramarital affairs. Broadly, extramarital affairs are relationships outside of marriage where an illicit romantic or sexual relationship or a romantic friendship or passionate attachment occurs.

In most of the cases an extramarital relation starts silently from the cheating of one party of other in conjugal life. This affair begins benignly but may later evolve by becoming sexual posing a serious threat to the marital relationship. Extramarital affairs involve the infidelity (physical, emotional, mental) of someone who is married. It has added a new dimension in the social degrading that is really sham for civil society. It is damages the trust, the foundation of relationship, among spouse which is the predicator of all long-term relationships. As marriage bond is enduring so no one can deny the role of trust to sustain this bond. Finally it devastates marriages and may lead to divorce if the illicit affair does not end and trust cannot be rebuilt.

In the recent period it has raised a grave concerned among the conscious people of the country due to the rising family discord for this illicit affair and its consequences. Evidence shows that, husbands are beating and, in extreme cases, killing their wives. In contrast, men are also being killed. For example, in England and Wales about 100 women are killed by partners or former partners each year while 21 men were killed in 2010. In 2008, in France, 156 women in comparison with 27 men were killed by their intimate partners. Statistics shows that about 40-70 percent of murders of women are committed by their husbands or boyfriends. In addition to this, a woman is beaten every 18 minutes in the USA. In Peru, 70 percent of all crimes reported to the police involve women beaten by their husbands. On an average, 80 mentally disturbed people visit the hospital a day. About 40 percent of them become mentally disordered due to such extramarital relationships. In Bangladesh, though there is no authentic statistics on sever consequences of extramarital relationship, the number of suicidal death or murder is not poor. Very often these are seen in daily news paper, local satellite channels. According to a report of Dhaka City Corporation, from 2006 to 2011 the figure of divorce in Dhaka city is 43,007 and most of them are due to extra marital affairs.

Apart from this, most of the sensitive death is one of the root causes of extra marital affair according to the DCC police information. Instigating by illicit love, husband killing wife. On the other hand, wife also killing husband. Even they killing their innocent children in order to prove their love to the second party. Again, wife committing suicide for husband's extramarital affairs being helpless. People can not forget the incident occurred at Adabar of capital Dhaka, in June 5, 2010 where mother Ayesha Humayra killed her innocent child Samiul barbarically in association with her illicit lover. In the same year on 11th June Farzana Kabir Rita commited suicide in the capitals Jurain with her 12-year old son Ishrat Kabir Pabon and 10-year old daughter Raisa Rashmi Payel Romana for having illicit love of her husband with another girl. The conscious people had nothing but cry watching these incidents. And raised question are they human being or beast? A report published in the prominent daily newspaper where Dr Zillur Kamal, associate professor of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) said, persons getting such a shock lose faith in any kind of relationship. As the world is nothing but a sum of some relationships, gradually they lose taste of earth and try to commit suicide. Truly, it is these relationships for which people feel an urge to remain alive in this world bearing all sorts of pain in heart. Very often it is seen to be broadcasted in the media what is not tolerable to the sound minded people. These features prove that how immoral these people are as well as how degraded the society is. In this situation children are being affected severely. Sociologists and educationalists opine that, this forbidden relationships hurting children as well. The children of the married couple are affected by the extramarital affair because of the increasing absence of one parent. Once an affair is out in the open, the children feel betrayed and rejected. They experience confusion over why the parent has damaged the family by having the affair, because they are unable to grasp the complex emotional factors which led to that point. Their antagonistic tug of war is the toxicity hurting their child. The child, eventually, after witnessing the hostile environment at home and the parental animosity resulting from the extra-marital of either of the parents, breaks down under the strain of conflict. The child’s distress may take the form of school related problems, anxiety, depression, bullying, victimization and sometimes even health related illness. So, it is a line in the sand that cannot be crossed without serious consequences.

Marriage leads to the establishment of family which is situated in the nuclear position of society. None can deny its significance regarding providing social status, upbringing and socialization of the children. But this primitive and basic institution of the society is perilous now due to such illicit affairs apart from other causes of family discord such as poverty, dowry etc. and ultimately society is plunged into chaos. So, it is indispensably needed to protect this evil deed in order to protect social devaluation. Firstly, there is no alternative of practicing religious value. No religion permits adultery and adultery is considered a sin in all religions. The Bible decrees the death sentence for both the adulterer and the adulteress (Lev.20:10). Islam also equally punishes both the adulterer and the adulteress (Quran 24:2). All religions recognized as systematic way in this regard. So, they are far away from religious value those are involving with illicit affair and doing barbaric act. Secondly, we must stop following western culture. Evident are available in this case that this problem raised tremendously since country people started to follow the western culture blindly. Our local culture has to be popularized and print as well as electronic media can play pioneer role in this regard. Thirdly, last but not least, husband and wife must be tolerant for the sake of family existence. They should have sacrificing mentality because sacrificing mentality ensures everlasting peace.

[Md. Abdullah Al Helal is a Senior Lecturer of General Education at Northern University Bangladesh. He can be contacted at helalabdullah001@yahoo.com]

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Posted by Indian Muslim Observer on December 12, 2012. Filed under , , , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Feel free to leave a response

By Indian Muslim Observer on December 12, 2012. Filed under , , , , . Follow any responses to the RSS 2.0. Leave a response

1 comments for "Extramarital Affair: A Shifted Mechanism of Social Degradation in Bangladesh"

  1. There is a very small correlation between beating up your marital partner and extramarital sex. Let's not confuse two different misbehaviours in a relation.

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