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OPINION: Marriage with us is sacrament, not a contract

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By Sukanya Talukdar


In small ponds of small villages, some small size fish try to gulp thunders. In the same way Neeraj, our little known identity and a frantic imaginative person, would often try to conquer the roaring waves of thoughts of his mind, churned out of the events of this wheeled universe. Like others his thoughts were also swift, fast and high.


Yet, he could capture few of his stray as well as beautiful and colourful feathers of thoughts which would fly high and fall back into the nest of his manifold ideas.


On a sunny morrow he began pondering over: “In Ancient India people used to wear dhotis. Generations changed and most people now wear trousers. People feel more convenient to wear trousers nowadays as it soothes their lifestyle. People no more feel shy or bad that they don’t wear dhoti any longer. In the same way like the extinction of use of dhotis, marriage in today’s society is becoming a contract. It is in the phase of extinction. After few generations, people will no more get married. Culture of marriage will totally get extinct and people will no longer feel awkward or bad or shy that they are not married. Marriage will no longer prevail in society any longer.”


Places where modernity tries to gain foothold through the pure pace of urbanisation, youthful energies capture such incongruous opinions. Deprived of nature’s blessings, people may lose sight, evolve as a pure product of marketing, may call fagging a lifestyle but how do they discard their analytics, curiosity and fantasy which take them to the horizons of million universes…


Neeraj, our little thinker, who occupied very little space in the world, would often wonder: “whether marriage should actually get extinct?” As a gift of modernity and techno savvy society, he inherited access to unbounded knowledge and liberal attitude. He happened to come to the knowledge that: “Before the marriage institution came into existence, woman was always the looser. After having relations with her, the male shirked his responsibility and left the female alone and destitute and sometimes with her child. With the advancement of social ideas it became necessary to prevent the male from shirking his responsibility. The institution of marriage came into being to centre the activities of the male around the maintenance and acceptance of the child and its mother and thereby to develop in him a consciousness of his duties and of pure love.”


His reflexes opined that: “Extinction of marriage or so called contract marriage would mean going back to primitive lifestyle and let two creatures go wherever they want when their sensual cravings are fulfilled. Opting to despise fellow partners in midst of woes, without any justified reason is something which is not natural to homo-sapiens whose DNA is wired for every kind of courage needed in face of danger.”


Neeraj, our great thinker, transformed to a quite bubble that was floating on his own sea of analysis. “Does marriage mean a law surrounding women welfare? If women would have been able to take care of themselves and their child alone, probably there wouldn’t have been any urge upon society to bind people under the vow of marriage.”


Sukanya Talukdar
He thought again and again and his curiosity led him to the enlightenment that: “Humans crave for intellectual pleasure too. Marriage is like a bound book meant for two submerging souls to sacredly go through the holy chapters of joy, sorrow, success, failure, anxiety, frustration, reconstruction and renovation destined and sequenced for them as lessons. Wiseman said, man can realise divine presence through love for women and women can realise divinity in the joy of creation of progeny. When a woman finds a proud position by the side of man to stand as a silent leader and not merely as an object of lust, she can generously shower the warmth and love that respires in her heart like those wilful sunbeams of life that engrosses everything it touches to divinity. Marriage is like rhythm that imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody that imposes continuity upon the disjointed and harmony that imposes compatibility upon the incongruous. Marriage lets identity of opinion yet lets two hearts be merged into each other and become united. That united heart reaches zenith of horizon for a couple to hold un-swearing faith in each other and lead a sacred family. Marriage transforms them wise and intellectual.”


Neeraj had to let go all his unjust unfounded and wild ideas for he realised that: “Laws can be broken, Love is unbreakable; Marriage is not a Law but it is a bond of Love.”


[Sukanya Talukdar has an MBA in Finance and is working as Analyst at JP Morgan Bank in Mumbai. She can be reached at suku86@yahoo.com]
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